Think Like a Puritan
Chucklehead wanted me to post this.
We were supposed to use at least six vocab words and underline them, but we weren’t given any vocab words. I made some up.
Sarah Bad was pregnant. This would have been super amazing if it weren’t for one thing: Her husband had been in England for two years. The people of Puritantown were not happy about this. They were actually really, really mad. So they did the only logical thing, they squished Sarah under a rock. But that comes later.
Silence Forever was the first to notice Sarah’s pregnancy, other than Sarah, of course. Silence was Sarah’s best friend and, contrary to her name, very loud. She would find out everyone’s business and then tell the entire town. So when Silence found out about the baby, Sarah tried to cajole her into not telling. Silence, being Silence, ignored Sarah and immediately told everyone.
Sarah was in court the next day.
Some of the townspeople wanted Sarah to be hung. Others wanted her to be burned. Quite a few threw the word witch around. Eight thought she should be exiled. Sarah was, obviously, in a quite a bit of trouble.
The following is from the trial:
Judge: “You, Sarah Bad, are pregnant?”
Sarah: “Yes.”
Judge: “Is the baby your husband’s?”
Sarah: “No.”
Judge: “Whose baby is it?”
Sarah: “Mine.”
Judge: “Who is the father?”
Sarah: “A man.”
Judge: “From this town?”
Sarah: “Yes.”
Judge: “Name him.”
Sarah: “I refuse.”
Judge: “Answer me!”
Sarah says nothing.
Judge: “Who is the father?”
Sarah says nothing.
This went on for a few days. Sarah never told the court who the father was, so every man in town was questioned. No one admitted to getting Sarah pregnant. The townspeople then moved on to devising a punishment. After much dithering, they finally decided on killing Sarah with a giant rock and fining every man in town.
They tied Sarah up at the bottom of a cliff and then pushed a rock off the edge. The rock landed on Sarah and a plethora of wild flowers, killing every single one of them. Then the townspeople walked back to town, trying to think of a way to tell Mr. Bad.
(So I named the main character Sarah Bad because I wanted to refer to her as Goody Bad. But I forgot. So yeah.)
